My baby you

I will soothe you if you fall
I'll be right there if you call
You're my greatest love of all
My baby you are the reason I could fly
and cause of you ...
I don't have to wonder why ...baby I love you
You're the reason I feel so alive

Last nite, I was listening to some music and songs from youtube when I came across the song by Marc Anthony...the lyrics are awesome & touching..he in fact dedicated the song to his daughter..so sweet...

"You're the reason I feel so alive"- how true it is...motherhood is whole new world for me..from the moment I become a mother, I know my life won't be the same again...

Being a mother there's a lot of things that are lingering in my mind, one of them is about my baby's nursery..I was worried that my boy may not get a place in his previous IIUM Nursery/Educare as the place is limited yet the waiting list is so long.. I have today drafted an appeal letter to the principal which I plan to email the letter to her in early February, appealing to re-enrol my boy in April 2008...and I have to think of the alternative/back-up plan if Zharfan could not get a place there...

This afternoon I was chatting to my niece, Ila on yahoo messenger, and she told me that she always reads my blog. The amusing part is when she revealed that it was my two other nieces (yaya& wanie) who taught Zharfan the song 'happy birthday to you'.. :) my Zharfan is such a quick-learner then.. :)

Ilall liqa'
Mama Zharfan
2.15 pm

Baby in action

My friend Ezna was telling me about her excitement of attending her 3 year old daughter singing performance "inilah barisan kita" at her playschool presentation day. I know perfectly how she feels.

Her story (sms & emails) reminds me of my Zharfan sports day when he was still in IIUM Educare...I was overjoyed to see him taking part in the telematch...yet he's so small to understand or appreciate what's going on in the telematch...and being so young, small and a little bit "manja" he was so clingy to me; I had to hide myself, so that his teacher managed to coax him to join the telematch when he didn't see me around. And his Cik Teh managed to snap a pic, which is the only pic of me and my Zharfan on his very first sports day ever - that was in June 2007...One of the fondest memories of me & my little boy..

Ilall liqa'
Mama Zharfan
2.48 pm
Notts

I cried again...

I thought I have been stronger as the day goes by, and it has been more than 3 month since I arrived here..but this morning,again my tears rolled down my cheek...just because my baby is down with fever and diarrhea..

The last time I called my boy ie last 3 days, he was ok...and I purposely tried not to call him as frequent as usual, because sometimes being a little boy, he does not feel like talking to me over the phone if I call him too often..but then my mom told me that my Zharfan has been waiting for my call, calling my name, and kept on dialing his toy phone as if he was calling me..

Knowing all these things, and hearing his cheerful voice over the phone made me crying...I miss him soooo much...my baby sang the Barney song to me, recited 'doa makan' , counted 1 to 10, and even surprised me by singing the 'happy birthday to you' rythm - the first time he sang this song.

Only a mother would know the feeling of another mother, like what I'm going through now...
"Ya Allah, please place my beloved Zharfan under your blessings, care and 'rahmah' always, and protect him from any illness.."

illal liqa'
Mama Zharfan
Notts
5.50 pm

The best things about having baby...

I have the passion in reading parenting magazines..and love to read about what other mums say and think about their babies & kids.Like Malaysia, UK boasts some great parenting magazines too, such as Mother&Baby, Prima Baby&Pregnancy...

I remember vividly all those sweet times spent together with my baby before I left for Notts. My Zharfan loves singing Barney's song : "I love you, you love me, we are happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, when you say you love me too.." My boy will do all the action in like Barney does in the vcd, - dancing, and then hugging me or his papa while singing the song...all these fondest memories making me feel like going home right now..if only I could do that...

Anyway, I finally got a response email from one of the staff in www.shippingtomalaysia.com, assuring me that the boxes would be delivered safely to Msia, and the 2 boxes that I ordered would be delivered to my room by next week...can't wait to pack all the stuff into the boxes.. :)

And this afternoon, I managed to send a copy of draft assignment to my supervisor for his perusal before the actual hardcopy submission by first week of Jan 2008.What a relief..now got to resume working on my first chapter of the thesis..after all that's the main purpose of me to be here..away from Malaysia, from my baby & hubby...

Ilall liqa'
Mama Zharfan
.35 pm

Boxing Day?...

The first time I heard about this day..the first thing came to my mind is about "boxing"-a type of sports. How amusing it is..in fact it has nothing to do with that sport!
boxing day literally means "Hari Kotak" ie the day to open the box / the Christmas gift :)

So the proper meaning of boxing day that I got from the internet is :

"Boxing Day is a public holiday celebrated in the United Kingdom, Canada, New Zealand and Australia and many other Commonwealth countries on December 26, the day after Christmas Day;
The celebration is traditional, dating back to the middle ages, and consisted of the practice of giving of gifts to employees, the poor, or to people in a lower social class. The Oxford English Dictionary attributes it to the Christmas box; the verb box meaning: "To give a Christmas-box (colloq.); whence boxing-day."

Such a unique name, lovely day!!!

So what do I do on my first ever boxing day in UK :)
I went for shopping spree!!! for the second time I went to East Midland Designer Outlet at Junction 28, and my fav outlet is Next! The clothes are so appealing with a good bargain, can't resist the temptation to buy couple of blouses and a long skirt for myself.
And for my beloved hubby I bought him a blue shirt from Marks & Spencer (M&S)- it feels good buying something from M&S, as I never bought anything from M&S Malaysia :)

so there goes my boxing day, plus a tasty home cooked lunch treat from Ummi's Fawwaz- a chef in making :) Thanks Farizah..simply love your cookings!

ilal liqa'
Mama Zharfan

Something to smile about...

Nothing lights up my life more than a huge cheeky grin from my little one.. the moment to talk to my little darling over the phone has always been my most awaited moment - to hear his sweet voice, "baby talk" language..

Today when I called my Zharfan, he was not in that jovial mood to talk to me, but he did utter to me that "papa naik aeroplane..". I know he misses his Papa so much, and that's the way he expresses to me that how much he wants to be with me and his Papa...

so am I, and I miss my boy for every single second..

ilal liqa'
mama zharfan
5.05 pm

It's Christmas eve.. :)

My flatmate Mya gave me a cute card wishing me Merry Christmas...it is very well celebrated here..i can feel the fun and joy in the air ... :)..jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle all the way..

Nothing unusual happens today - chatting with aimi -my future sister-in-law, calling my hubby in Malaysia..time seems to move slowly when i have nothing much to do..other than final editing for my assignment. oh yeah, my co-supervisor in Msia, kak ida sent an email, approving & encouraging me to extend my stay here when I come back to Notts in 2010 (with my baby around of course!).

Ilall liqa'
Mama Zharfan
5.45 pm

Life is really-really dull without internet access...

It all started yesterday afternoon when I could not access to internet using my usual Internet Explorer browser...

The problem remains unsolved, until Qawy, a friend of mine came to fix the prob up, and showed me how to use Mozilla Fifefox as the alternative browser..thanks God..can't really imagine how dull the life is without the internet access :)

Today is a real MISTY day...reminds me of hazy day in Malaysia, except it's extremely cold here...

In the morning, I went to Mothercare at Castle Marina, main purpose was to buy a birthday gift for Fawwaz, my friend's chubby baby boy.I managed to get a nice, sweet suit with a reasonable price.
And of course I bought some stuff for my little hero :) - a toy (magnetic numbers), a suit and few t-shirts & 2 pairs of cute socks..buying things for my baby is a kind of 'theraphy' to lessen my suffering being away from my boy...only God knows how much I miss him..
Anyway, I simply love all baby clothes from Mothercare!!!

Then, in the afternoon, again I joined Aisyah&Latif to have some window shopping - we went to IKEA! Managed to get a nice sheep rug, which I have been aiming for some time to get one from IKEA Malaysia, but the price seems cheaper here..so no second thought..it's legally mine now :)

Illa liqa'
Mama Zharfan

100 more days to go....

Everyday I wake up with a delight, knowing that the time for me to see my little boy is getting closer and closer, as each day goes by.

I have never being apart with my boy..so no words can describe my feeling, the suffering, the loneliness..except for those who have the same experience.

I have vowed to myself that I would never leave him again, knowing that I have to come to Notts again in Jan 2010.. I would definitely bring my little bundle of joy along when the time comes..

But there's always blessing in disguise for whatever that happen to us- and I do believe in that..

Being away from my hubby has made our love growing stronger..feeling like we are "in-love season" again.. and being away from my little boy has taught me the precious value of being a mother..how lucky I am to be blessed with the opportunity to enjoy the motherhood world. Thank God..Alhamdulillah..

Ilal liqa'

Mama Zharfan

7.00 am

My little prince!

I miss my boy sooo much...can't wait to go back to Malaysia to see him again...

Finally...I got a blog of my own :)

I have always wanted to have my own blog, to keep all the sweet memories of my life journey..to show my appreciation to my loved ones - my baby, my dearest hubby, my family and of course my friends..

For me, it's alwys fun and enjoyable to read blog belong to others, and finally I managed to create my own blog :)

How nice to know that now I have a blog to express my feelings - whenever I feel wanna or need to write something, I can always put it on my own blog!!

Illa liqa'
Mama Zharfan
Notts 21 dec 07 8.20 am